What’s in [My] Name?

Just Kidding:

Of course I’m going to tell you The Story.

I always lead with this: Well, actually, it’s the name of an economic theory. Then they’re like, Ohhhh! So she’s probably, like, an economist or something! Then I’m like, Nope. She actually hates economics.

Then I pause and let that sink in.

So, Mom was taking an economics class at University of Georgia when she was very pregnant with me. She had put off taking this class until the last semester [because she hates economics]. That day, when the professor announced they would talk about John Maynard Keynes and the Keynesian Theory, my mother was filled with joy and divine inspiration. She began doodling the name all over her notebook, and the rest was history.

She has always told me that this was the only name my father ever liked, but we have no way to corroborate that story, as he passed away when I was a baby. Knowing what I do know about him, though, I find it very hard to believe. My uncle, who was Dad’s best friend, agrees with me.

And just as a final jab, although she never could have predicted this, Mom made sure to spell my name differently — Keynsian without the extra “E” — so that I would forever be a slave to autocorrect in the future. My nickname, Keyna [pronounced “Kay-nuh”], isn’t a whole lot better — that one gets immediately corrected to Kenya.

For your entertainment, and in case any of these are questions you have, here is a list of questions about my name that I answer more than you’d expect:

Regarding “Keynsian”:

If you hate your name so much, why don’t you just change it? I feel that this is a Millennial/Gen Z/Gen Alpha perspective, maybe because it was a lot harder for us Gen Xers to change our names and personal info — that process has been greatly aided by the Internet and shifts in the societal paradigms surrounding names. But also…for better or worse, it’s the name my parents gave me. Even if he didn’t love it, like Mom claims, Dad still agreed to it and put it on my birth certificate. I believe that choice deserves some respect and honor.

…And why on Earth would you choose to use it for your author name? Well, as my full name is Jeane Keynsian Houston, I have always thought (since about age 6) that I would be “J. K. Houston” as an author. Wanna guess who spoiled that one? Don’t worry, Rowling — I’m not bitter or anything. Totally over it. Soooooo, I had to decide on something else, and by the time it was time to decide, I was a full-grown adult, and I decided I kind of do like “Keynsian,” despite its obstacles. Plus, talk about unique! I’d be willing to bet there are not more than 5 other people in this world with that name, and probably fewer with that spelling.

Yeah, about that spelling: how come your mom didn’t just spell it like Keynes? I have long since given up trying to determine why my mom does the things she does. But I can tell you that she is (and I am) a huge fan of Anne of Green Gables (the books, the movies, the characters, the real-life setting), and she loves the part where Anne explains that her name is “Anne with an E.” So maybe she wanted to be able to say, “It’s ‘Keynsian,’ without the E,” as if most people would even know what the heck she was talking about.

Regarding “Keyna”:

How do you get Keyna from Jeane [my first name]? You don’t. I have always gone by my middle name (or short for it).

Why don’t you go by your real name? Well, I would argue that Keynsian and Keyna are my “real” names, just as your middle name is real, as is any nickname you carry around for any of your names. I believe Houston is also real, and sometimes I go by that as well.

Why do you go by your middle name? [a more polite way to ask the above question] Ultimately, you’ll have to ask my mom because she’s the one who made that choice. But I can tell you that in the South, it’s very common for people to go by their middle names. Boys often do when they’re a “junior” or “the third” or something like that. And girls often do because of another tradition, which is giving your daughter your maiden name for her middle name. My entire family, on both sides, is from the South (I was born in Atlanta), so maybe it’s just in their bones. As for my choice, see my answer to the first FAQ.

Were you born in Africa? [from people who think my name is Kenya] No. A quick look at me could answer that for you. Also, that doesn’t make sense. If you were born in Arizona, would your name have to be Phoenix? What if your name is Phoenix, but you were actually born in Whitefish, Montana? Does that present a serious nomenclature issue?

The New Keynsian Theory:

I would like to thank whoever coined the noun version of creative, because, although it does push against my slightly-obsessive command of grammar, it sort of perfectly defines who I am.

I am a Creative.

This blog is a place where Creatives can hang out. I will present my “theory” on the Creative Life — The Keynsian Theory, if you will — and I invite you fellow Creatives out there to come here and join me and present your own.

With any luck, The Keynsian Theory will gain a new affiliation, and we can start talking about Keynsian Creativity [instead of economics] from now on. (#sorrynotsorry, John Maynard Keynes. You can blame my mom).